“No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other” [Matthew 6:24].
When we are committing sin and not letting go of it, we are slaves to it no matter how clever we justify ourselves in pretending that we are free. "Amen, amen, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin" [John 8:34]. Our loving God calls us to his light, away from a life of darkness. "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life" [John 8:12]. Yet he calls us to love him freely without overwhelming our free will.
God's call is his grace to us, and our positive response to grace can only begin with humility. Without humility we can do nothing good. We remain instead self-absorbed, self-justified, and self-righteous. Only by humbling ourselves, we can respond positively to God’s call and start walking toward freedom in the light of truth. "If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" [John 8:31]. Yet being humble is itself a given grace.
If you are not aware of God's grace within you, kneel in front of a crucifix, the symbol of grace, love, and humility, and speak to God with whatever comes to your mind. You will find yourself saying words like these: "My God I don't even know if you exist. I don't even know that I want to turn to you. I am so attached to my way of life that I find it so hard to turn to you. My will is not yours, and my actions and thoughts are far from yours. But God, if I am lost in darkness let me hear your voice and show me who I am and what have I become, enlighten me from within and have mercy on my distorted will. Cover my shame with your mercy and give me humility so that I may see the light of truth and have the new will to turn toward you. I have nothing to offer other than my sins, disbelief, and mistrust in your ways, but if you are truly here and can hear me, then save me from myself. I ask for humility so that I might have faith and live." When you are done speaking, listen for days to come.
God’s grace is sometimes infused directly in our souls, such as when we suddenly gain a new insight from within, that brings us joy in sensing God's presence and we simply and easily let go of what bonds us and turn toward the light. At other times God chooses to reach us through our senses such as seeing or hearing something or meeting someone that draws us closer to God. Since the gift of self is the greatest gift one can give, the greatest grace that we would ever receive is Christ. Humility is a state of awareness of who we are and what we are capable of doing. We need first the grace to be humble and then we will be more receptive to receive all other graces from God.
If you are dwelling in darkness, humble your heart and respond to the one who made you to be his beloved son not a slave. “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light” [Matthew 11:28-30].
Our Lord Jesus Christ says: "Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened." [Luke 11:9-10] And once we are God’s we are assured that no one can take us out of his hand (John 10:28).